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The Massey Murder Game is an annual tradition that I have
replicated inWest of
as the Davies Murder Game. Basically, it's a
giant game of tag; each participant receives the name of another
participant and must attempt to "kill" that participant by touching
him or her in a room unoccupied by anyone else who is 1) playing
the game and 2) still alive. Slain players pass off
theirvictims to their killers. If nothing goes wrong,
the game ends when only two players are left alive.
Officially, the game is a mid-term stress reliever. In actual fact,
the game turns fifty-odd people into bloodthirsty puppet masters
for three or four days. It has destroyed friendships and
ended relationships. It also tends to provide veteran
Masseyites with many colourful stories to tell the newbies.
It is simultaneously fun and excruciating.
Below, I have posted the first comic in each Murder Game arc.
If you click on the comic, you will be taken to the full
Monday, January 14,
Monday, February 9,
Monday, February 6,
Monday, February 4,
I shall leave you with a poem I wrote one year out of frustration,
possibly after the seventeenth or eighteenth person had demanded
that I define the word "room" as it pertained to the game.
Murder Game kills must take place when the killer and the
victim are alone in a room. Therefore, what constitutes a
room becomes important. If this issue seems like a no-brainer
to you, you have never visited Massey College.
Rooms are sometimes sort of square
(Sometimes not), and rooms are where
Evil people skulk and try
Very hard to make you die.
Corridors are rooms, and so
Are snow-bound quadrangles, though
If an ally's out of sight,
You can still be killed, all right.
Trees are rooms if you're a bird.
Rooms are trees if you're absurd.
Shoes are small rooms for your feet.
Cakes are big rooms you can eat.
If we say a room
's a room
Then it is, so don't assume
You're not dead on ledge or stair.
If you nag us, WE WON'T CARE.